Tag Archives: discipline

Minnesota Vikings…abuse story?

For those who have not had the chance to react or understand what has happened to Adrian Peterson, Phenom Running back for the Minnesota Vikings has been charged with felony child abuse and the NFL and his team has restricted him from playing until his legal matters are worked out.

“The 4-year-old is by a different mother than the alleged victim in the Montgomery County case, in which Peterson is charged with felony injury to a child. In that case, Peterson admits to repeatedly striking the boy with a tree branch or “switch,” but has maintained he did not intend to harm the child, and was using his judgment as a parent to discipline his son.” (USA TODAY)

The fact that I will no longer be able to have him in my fantasy league hurts but I don’t want to take away from the primary issue here, parental discipline. I’m conflicted on this issue overall because I have experienced discipline in a wide variety of ways. Earlier this year I wrote about Bringing Down the Law and again I feel that this particular instance is not worthy of a felony charge in my opinion. I have experienced a Willow switch as a punishment. I am willing to wager that any of my readers who have grown up south of the Canadian border has also experienced this particular punishment. (I’m sure my Canadian readers may have also experienced it but you get the point.) This is a form of discipline much like a belt or hand.

abuse

TMZ Sports released these photos but I collected them from IJREVIEW.

Look at this objectively. First, why was he being punished? I have looked but I don’t believe there has been a statement that explains what his son did to spark any punishment. If someone has it please send me an email or comment because I don’t like to be misinformed. If he called Adrian a “poopy head” then the punishment does not fit the crime but if his son punched his baby sister or something (I don’t know the full family tree of Adrian Peterson or his kids.) then I could see something like this happening.  As a personal survivor of various forms of child abuse in my life, the wounds that are depicted above are relatively minor compared to child abuse images that we normally connect child abuse with.

My issue overall comes down to this, at what point do parents  have the right to discipline their own kids without having to be concerned with child abuse charges. If your kid comes to school looking like he got in a fight with a Honey Badger or something then obviously there should be concern for the child. Basically, child abuse needs to be looked at with a serious eye and by a professional who can “grade” the level of alleged abuse. Furthermore, felony charges need to be reserved for appropriate offenses.

This brings me back around to the issue of the day, Adrian Peterson. Is he a father who was disciplining his son and maybe went over the line of discipline or was he within his rights of raising his son and disciplining him according to his values? Voice your opinions!!

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How do you bring down the law?

Molding our kids to be proper adults is, in my opinion the most difficult job on the planet. Every time my kids decide to push the limits and either break the rules or bend them so far that the original rules don’t apply I find that I again have to reach down deep and remember that these are my kids. Being a smart, firm, responsible, modern dad is hard. For many of us, the role as primary caregiver is not only new but we are trying to balance the role of disciplinarian as well which can be confusing and down right scary. Which begs the question, how much is too much when it comes to punishments?

I grew up in the South as a foster child from the state of Louisiana. When it came to discipline…progressive or gentle handed were not the standards I was accustomed to. Kneeling on rice, whippings on the back of the legs with a willow switch, holding phone books out with my nose to the wall…most of us would probably picture a torture scene from one of the classic 80’s and 90’s movies. Of course, these were some of the worst versions of punishments I had experienced and I have cataloged them under what NOT to do when punishing my kids. That brings the question, what is the best type of punishment for your kids? Physical discipline, time outs, punishment/reward systems, stickers and star what works best?

As many people that will read this, I’m sure there will be as many different opinions of what is the best road for discipline. In my home I have a hybrid system ranging on the severity of the broken rule and the age of the child. Normally, a time out is enough to get the point across. All of my kids are able to experience this from my eight year old to my 18 month old. The age dictates the time so for the eight year old, eight minutes, you get the idea.  The next “level” of punishment is removing fun favorites such as snacks, computer time, TV, visiting friends etc. This is the most effective in my home but only for my older two kids since taking candy from a baby is…well frowned upon by humanity.  The final and most severe and least used is spanking.  All of my kids have had a chance to experience a spanking in some way, shape or form.  If my 18 month old reaches for the stove or a socket, he gets a smack on the hand.  A smack on the bare butt is reserved for the most egregious of offenses and I can count on one hand how many times I have used that level of punishment on any of my kids. (My little guy has not experienced a butt spanking yet.)

What do you think is the best form of punishment when your kids break the rules?

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